Today I was reminded that there are times when we have to call our own BS. I have had countless conversations with clients about using the BS detector to help keep them honest. I am not talking about yelling BS out loud, although that could be necessary at times. We all have moments where we have thought “that thought didn’t just happen”, “don’t feel that way” or “just ignore that feeling”. The reality is, when we ‘ignore’ feelings and thoughts they don’t just magically go away; they hide out and then they come back…kind of like the monster under your bed as a kid. You could tell yourself the monster wasn’t there over and over again, but until you checked or screamed for a parent to come check, you were consumed with the monster.
So sometimes you have to say “bull s*#@” —this IS what I am feeling or this IS what I am thinking, so what do I need to do about it??? Soaking it up, really paying attention to it and then taking care of it is the only way to change that particular response. For example, if you think “I am fat today” and you know that this could very easily become an unhealthy line of thinking, then just ignoring that thought will only invite more thoughts. Instead you can provide evidence for or against the thought (how is this true, or how is this not true), provide an alternative or balanced (rational) thought (just because I didn’t work out today doesn’t make me fat) and utilize a coping skill (bubble bath, journal, listen to music, or go for a run). This gives yourself the opportunity to gain some control over the thought and ultimately gives you the reality check that we all need from time to time.
What BS do you need to start calling on yourself? I always loved that card game….